A while ago, I came into my room to do my reading/praying and I first looked up the definition of providence (because of the sermon today):
In religious context refers to divine care or guidance, often seen as a manifestation of God’s benevolent (well meaning and kindly) influence in the world.

So many things happened to and for me over a couple of years. The most miserable years of my life. While it was happening, I couldn’t see it as God’s providence. I can now see God’s providence during that time, now that I’m on the other side of it. But I am ashamed to say that I am guilty of the groaning and self-pity, wondering when my life will be normal again, when I should remember how He has been faithfully there for me and though it took a while, He rescued me in His time and His timing WAS indeed perfect.

Because if not for His perfect timing, if earlier or later than what He did, I may not have survived. But more than that, I would not have opened my eyes fully to Him and I would not be trying to live my life with Him as my guide.

During that time, I was praying and that is all. I was so blind then. Now, I can see where He used “natural circumstances to bring about His super natural plans”(stolen from a video). The natural circumstances over that time set me up to be able to let them walk away. In them walking away, I walked into the arms of God.