Dear Father,

Thank you! Just thank you, for everything. Every breath. Every heartbeat. Every moment. Because everything is of you and for you.

You have flooded me this week with revelation and understanding and more than that the sweet sweet peace that comes in knowing that in everything I shed that is not for me, that is not in line with your calling in my life (and I know you’ve called – that is plain as the daylight), I will receive more and more of that unexplainable peace. Unexplainable because I know that I will face trials. Just like the most recent trial that I faced, I was NOT alone in it. I might have felt alone then, but I see the “4th man in the fire” when I look back from the outside of it.

In only the span of 2 years, you provided 3 times, a job, right at the EXACT moment I needed it. in the span of only 2 years, you provided 4 times, financially, right at the EXACT moment I needed it. And even more than that, those provisions together put me in a perfect protection right at the EXACT moment I needed it. You used some bad things that were happening during that time for YOUR purpose and good. It was not me! I had NO control in those circumstances. You knew that I was struggling. You knew I had the tiniest amount of faith and I barely surrendered toward the end of it. I see NOW that you were not just protecting me, but using the worst time in my life to SHOW me your face, to correct my understanding. Ultimately, when I was feeling the most unloved, you showed me that I am loved perfectly.

Some days, I do not have enough gratitude. Some days, I don’t have enough trust. Then I am reminded that the proof is there and it shines as bright as the sun in the sky. So how? How can I NOT trust that your perfect love will carry me through everything. You are Jehovah Jireh- you are enough.

Bless this day, your day, and I pray for others who have struggled through similar things that I have and that I continue to heal from and I pray that they see YOU at work in it and that they get REST. Lord, you have told me to “be still” more times than I can count and being still, for me, is so uncomfortable because my mind wants to believe the lie that if I’m not “doing” then things will fall apart. I thank you for the LOSS of control in my life. I thank you for the stillness. It’s in that uncomfort that I continue to grow in trust, love, rest, peace, wisdom, and understanding.

I am not good. I see Paul and my heart swells because I understand. No matter how I try, I will never achieve perfection. But I don’t need to to be loved by you. I just have to surrender to you and trust that just like you already have, you will show me the way.

Let me and my testimony be a light to others. Let them see me as imperfect, but loved by you. Let my mere existence be a hope and encouragement.

I love you, my perfect Father. Where I have been rejected and neglected by the world, you have never failed me. You are faithful and true.

In your holy name, your will be done!

Amen 🙏 ♥️

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬